the perfect candidate

I always found it funny how a lot of people have a list of requirements for what they seek in a significant other. Some people have it all figured out and swear that whoever they date or marry has to have these qualities or they’d never be with them. They say the person must be loyal, funny, love animals; some even get as picky and specific as wanting -more like needing– someone who is six feet tall or has a big butt, someone who has a beard or someone who is shorter than them by a foot. Those who stick to this list and allow no exceptions are hardly seen as picky, or if they are, it’s not a bad thing. They’re “saving themselves” or seen as knowing their worth. They don’t settle until they find who they want – the perfect candidate.

The reason I find this funny is because that “perfect” candidate hardly ever exists. So many people have this strict criteria for a significant other that they pass by people that could be a great match for them. The truth is that you do have to settle at some point. You learn to compromise and prioritize. It’s just a matter of learning what you can deal with and what you put first. We compromise in relationships with arguments or disagreements but we also have to compromise with who the person is, knowing that we aren’t perfect either. It’s a shame when you find someone who can be your perfect soulmate but they lie, cheat, or mess with your head. It’s why so many of us get made fun of or taken advantage of: we are willing to deal with those things because we know there will be no one who compares to or surpasses the qualities of that person. And for those who don’t deal with it, who can’t handle the heartbreak, pressure, and doubt, they still settle. For someone who might not be as funny, or tall, or cute but won’t break their hearts as much as the last one. We choose who we want to deal with, who we want to break out hearts, because over time we know we have to either settle in some way or spend the rest of our lives searching for that perfect candidate.

-12/20/2016

 

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